Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards: Winners and Gallery

On Saturday, Nickelodeon's 2011 Kids Choice Awards / AKA Little Lolita Parade took place in L.A. May I present exhibits A, B, C , D, E and the ludicrously unachievable F. OK, so none of them are as bad as this, or this, but they make me feel a bit fearfull for them all the same. After all, look who they have to look up to - sex tape stars in the form of Paris Hilton and a horny milk maid; barely formed full time performers; pioneer of female empowerment Snoop Dogg; Melanie Brown; a stick insect; the vampire mermaid from planet Harpie; 38-year-old Josh Duhamel masquerading as a Ken doll; and a well-documented sex pest. He's not having a fit, more trying to communicate to the perplexed assembled that he's the gentleman what voiced that bunny from Hop - as opposed to air humping a photo of Katy Perry he produced from his wallet.

Yeah, so thank God for the presence of Jane Lynch, Stevie Wonder and - I never thought I'd say this - Miley Cyrus. True, arbitary Kardashian also had a classy dress on, but Miley actually also has a talent so that makes her the winner.

Those also in attendence included Heidi Klum, Sofia Vergara, Mr. Carey, Selena Gomez, and increasingly burnt umber-hued Pixie Lott; and Joe Jonas in the company of a liddlar Jonas who, somehow, also looks like a middle aged member of Bon Jovi...

To the winners:

Favourite TV Show

iCarly

Favourite Reality Show

American Idol

Favourite TV Actor

Dylan Sprouse

Favourite TV Actress

Selena Gomez

Funniest TV Sidekick

Jennette McCurdy

Favourite Cartoon

SpongeBob SquarePants

Favourite Male Athlete

Shaquille O'Neal

Favourite Female Athlete

Lindsey Vonn

Favourite Movie

The Karate Kid

Favourite Movie Actor

Johnny Depp (Alice in Wonderland)

Favourite Movie Actress

Miley Cyrus (The Last Song)

Favourite Animated Movie

Despicable Me

Favourite Voice from an Animated Movie

Eddie Murphy (Shrek Forever After)

Favourite Buttkicker

Jackie Chan (The Karate Kid)

Favourite Music Group

The Black Eyed Peas

Favourite Male Singer

Justin Bieber

Favourite Female Singer

Katy Perry

Favourite Song

'Baby' (by Justin Bieber, featuring Ludacris)

Favourite Book

Diary of Wimpy Kid series

Favourite Video Game

Just Dance 2

Arm Fart Hall of Fame

Josh Duhamel

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